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Shortly afterwards, you make your escape on a cart pulled by a man in a gimp suit with a ballgag. At the aforesaid BDSM club, you’ll threaten to beat a character to death and he’ll beg you to do so.
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The plot is merely a framework to hang a series of increasingly hatstand set-pieces off, though the dialogue is genuinely funny on occasion. The former gives you a huge respect boost, while the latter significantly increases your bank balance.
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One early mission asks you to choose whether to blow up a building or simply commandeer it as a new base. Like just about every major release these days it has moments where you’ll need to make a key decision, but either way the choice benefits the player.
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Volition’s game is full of little touches like this to make everything that bit more pleasurable. You won’t panic when you see an enormous brute headed your way, knowing that a few well-placed headshots is more than enough to bring him to his knees, before you finish him off with a satisfying one-button execution. You’ll stroll towards enemies rather than cowering in cover, knowing that you can withstand quite a bit of damage before dying. You’ll happily drive into water, knowing that you’re a button-press from warping instantly to the shore. You’ll fly above the tallest skyscraper and jump out, knowing that you’ll have a parachute to save you from being a fleshy pavement decoration. You can tweak vehicles to make them faster or more powerful, allowing you to simply bulldoze any vehicles foolish enough to get in your way. There’s always a new and crazy weapon of mass destruction just around the corner, always a fresh way to customise your character or your allies.
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It’s the thrill of the new that gives Saints Row: The Third an irresistible forward momentum. You can also repeat these diversions, though after the first time your only reward is monetary gain. Complete one side mission and several other instances of the same will be instantly marked on the city map, so if you find an activity you enjoy, you can make the most of it to earn some quick cash and respect.
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The GPS system is terrific – set a waypoint, and huge floating neon markers pop up along the route to tell you where to turn, like an old-school arcade racer.Īs you complete more missions you’ll be able to add further members to your crew, and as your respect rank rises accordingly, you’ll be given the opportunity to upgrade your protagonist and the gang. While side missions are clumsily integrated into the story, these asides add variety to the early game, and they’re over in a matter of minutes, so even if you’re not a fan it’s not long before you can move on. Yet it’s not long before Volition finds its feet, with a series of smart design decisions that underpin the mayhem that follows. Elsewhere one penthouse raid set to Kanye West’s ‘Power’ falls slightly flat thanks to said song being used in just about every other bit of video game trailer footage in the past six months. Though there’s nothing to compare with Saints Row 2’s scatological high/lowlight (the sewage-spraying sequence), it’s all very puerile, with giant dildo bats, BDSM Clubs, testicle punches, a chain of mechanics called Rim Jobs, and other sniggering schoolboy humour. It’s not helped by a stream of lowbrow gags. But the early game settles into a very familiar rhythm as you attempt to rebuild the Saints’ empire in a new city, taking on a series of tasks that amount to little more than driving to a place and shooting a lot of people on arrival. Sure, it begins with a bang: a crazy gunfight inside (and out of) a cargo plane flying over the city of Steelport, involving two daring airborne rescues and a moment where your protagonist skydives through the cockpit of the falling craft to beat up a single enemy at the back. That said, the first hour or so creates a false impression. This is a game that constantly prioritises the needs of the player. Now it’s no more like GTA than Mario indeed, the comparison with Nintendo’s series isn’t entirely unwarranted, as Volition’s game shares the same generosity of ideas, and avoids being hamstrung by the need to conform to the rules of a pseudo-realistic gameworld. Three games in, and Saints Row is now much more than a Grand Theft Auto tribute act, growing from a feeble, shameless copycat into the gaudy celebration of wanton debauchery the tabloids believe Rockstar’s game to be.